🎼 Abhimaan: When Music Becomes a Journey of Self-Discovery

संगीत, स्वाभिमान और अंतर्मन की खोज

A reflection on the film Abhimaan (1973), Hindustani classical music, and the different paths through which we discover ourselves.

There is a profound paradox in Abhimaan, the film starring Amitabh Bachchan and Jaya Bhaduri. Beneath its story of a musical couple lies a timeless exploration of talent, recognition, love, ego and the search for self-expression.

The film's fictional characters, Subir and Uma, invite comparisons with the lives of Ravi Shankar and Annapurna Devi. However, Abhimaan is not a literal biography of Annapurna Devi, and its characters should not be regarded as exact portraits of the real musicians.

Annapurna Devi, daughter of the legendary Ustad Allauddin Khan Sahib, was a distinguished practitioner of Hindustani classical music. Her life evokes the depth of the guru-shishya tradition, where music is cultivated through discipline, humility and lifelong sadhana.

Ravi Shankar, too, underwent rigorous training under Allauddin Khan Sahib and became one of the world's most celebrated ambassadors of Indian classical music.

Their marriage eventually ended in separation. In Abhimaan, a related tension unfolds through the fictional relationship between Uma and Subir, as musical achievement becomes entangled with identity, insecurity and the need for recognition.

🎵 Is music for applause, or for the discovery of the self?

One of the film's most thought-provoking moments is Uma's critical response to Subir's music. Her perspective raises a timeless question: does music fulfil its purpose merely by entertaining an audience, or does its deepest meaning emerge from the artist's inner experience?

Performing for an audience is, of course, an integral part of music. The distinction lies in whether applause becomes the ultimate objective or remains a natural consequence of sincere artistic expression.

There is a beautiful philosophical association one can make between संग—togetherness—and स्वयं—the self. This is a contemplative interpretation rather than the literal etymology of संगीत. Yet it captures an essential dimension of musical experience: music connects us with others while opening a path towards our own inner world.

संगीत केवल सुनाने की कला नहीं, स्वयं को सुनने की साधना भी है।

When the artist becomes absorbed in the purity of a note, music can transcend performance and become a form of self-discovery.

🎭 Different personalities, different paths

The emotional tension in Abhimaan reminds us how easily artistic expression can become entangled with expectations, comparisons and the desire for validation.

Every individual approaches art with a different temperament and a different understanding of fulfilment. One may find happiness in the warmth of popular appreciation, another in devotional singing, and yet another in the patient exploration of classical tradition.

These paths need not compete with one another. Their differences may simply reflect the many ways in which human beings seek meaning through music.

Perhaps the real challenge is to appreciate another person's journey without measuring it against our own.

Not every difference needs resolution, and not every journey needs to lead to the same destination.

🌿 A Personal Reflection: Different Paths, One Search for Music

Perhaps Abhimaan resonates with me because it touches upon a subtle truth about life: even when two people begin their journey together, their individual ways of discovering themselves may gradually take different directions.

Neither my wife nor I came from a family of musicians. Music was something we discovered along the way, each finding our own source of meaning and fulfilment in it.

Over time, devotional singing, particularly sectarian bhajans, became a meaningful expression of peace and faith for her. My own curiosity continues to draw me towards the deeper dimensions of Hindustani classical music—the purity of swar, the intricate grammar of raag, and the profound relationship between sound, nature and consciousness.

Perhaps this is simply the beauty and complexity of human individuality. The same art can open different doors for different people. One may find fulfilment in devotion and familiar expressions of faith, while another may remain absorbed in an open-ended exploration of sound and its deeper mysteries.

Neither journey needs to diminish the other.

My own exploration remains a work in progress. I continue to wonder how a handful of notes, rendered with sincerity and discipline, can evoke an entire universe of feeling—and whether, beyond the boundaries of musical forms and beliefs, there lies a more universal experience of Nāda.

Perhaps the real lesson of Abhimaan is not merely about the differences between two individuals, but about learning to recognise and respect the distinct inner worlds that each of us carries.

After all, music offers no single destination. It gives each of us a language in which to discover ourselves.

🎼 SSG: Music as sadhana, not self-glorification

At Saraswati Sangeet Gurukul (SSG), I believe music should be approached as a lifelong practice of listening, learning, reflection and self-discovery.

A meaningful musical education cultivates not only technique but also humility before the guru, generosity towards fellow artists, and the maturity to appreciate forms of expression different from our own.

The highest musical accomplishment is not the defeat of another performer. It is the gradual transcendence of our own limitations.

सुर का साधक वही, जो स्वयं को साधे,

दूसरे के स्वर में भी अपना आनंद बाँटे।

जो यश में न भूले, न अपयश में टूटे,

वही संगीत के मर्म को भीतर से छू ले।

Perhaps the greatest gift of music is not that it makes everyone sing the same song, but that it teaches us to listen to different voices with openness and understanding.

And so, my exploration continues—not to prove a point, but to understand Nāda itself: the world of sound that invites us beyond labels, expectations and ego, towards a deeper awareness of ourselves and the world around us.

Let us learn music not merely to be heard, but to learn how to listen; not merely to be admired, but to understand; not merely to perform, but to transform ourselves.

— Akshat Agrawal
Saraswati Sangeet Gurukul (SSG)

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