I Am Very Selfish – A Buddhist Take on Self-Love and Freedom from Attachments

 

Title: I Am Very Selfish – A Buddhist Take on Self-Love and Freedom from Attachments
A reflection on self-realization, personal boundaries, and mindful detachment

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"I am very selfish. I don’t believe in trapping anyone, holding onto someone, or getting entangled myself."

This statement, while it may sound cold to some, actually holds a deep spiritual maturity — one rooted in the teachings of the Buddha.

Buddham Sharanam Gacchami.
To take refuge in the Buddha is to walk towards the path of self-realization, not self-denial or blind attachment. It is not escapism, but a deep return to one's own center.

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1. It’s Not Selfishness, It’s Self-Realization

In today's world, where love and relationships are often confused with control, possession, or dependency — saying "I don’t believe in trapping or being trapped" is not selfishness, it's wisdom. It’s an understanding that real connection can only come from a place of inner freedom.

As the Buddha said:
“You yourself must strive. The Buddhas only show the way.”

This means: until we are anchored in our own awareness, every bond risks becoming a cage. Until we love ourselves in the most honest, compassionate way, we cannot love others without expectation.

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2. Real Love Is Not Possession — It Is Presence Without Grip

To love someone in the Buddhist sense is not to hold them tightly, but to walk beside them without claiming their path.
True love, like true compassion, does not bind. It liberates.

In contrast to attachment (upādāna), which is rooted in ego and fear, Buddhist love is rooted in mettā (loving-kindness) — it gives space, it listens, it does not interfere with the other’s inner journey.

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3. Why I Say I’m “Selfish” — The Buddhist Irony

When I say I’m selfish, I don’t mean greedy or egoistic.
I mean — I prioritize my own peace, my own dharma, my own clarity.
I do not wish to fake relationships, chase illusions, or get emotionally drained in the name of love, family, or duty.

This is not cruelty — it is the Buddhist middle path, which avoids both indulgence and repression.

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4. Sangham Sharanam Gacchami – Choosing the Right Circle

The third jewel of Buddhism — Sangha — reminds us to build community with the wise, the aware, and the free-spirited.
Not a crowd of chaos, but a circle of truth-seekers.
People who do not use emotions to manipulate, but use silence and sincerity to grow together.

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✨ Final Thought

If loving yourself enough to walk away from toxic entanglements, false expectations, and emotional traps is called “selfish” —
then yes, I am selfish.

And in this selfishness, I find the greatest compassion — for myself and others.

Buddham Sharanam Gacchami
Dhammam Sharanam Gacchami
Sangham Sharanam Gacchami

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Let this not be your escape from love — but your arrival at a deeper, freer, truer love.

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